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               THE SKILL OF FORGIVENESS  1

HOST: ALAUKWU ADIMCHI PRINCE DANIEL

( P-REX )

On: 22&23 JUNE BY 9PM | PWC WHATSAPP STATUS

I am your host: Alaukwu Adimchi Prince Daniel popularly known with P-Rex🌹.

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Alright! Our topic tonight is simple!

The skill for forgiveness.

Let's start with defining forgiveness:

I will be referring to both posts tonight.

With the following codes:

🖊️ Wikipedia for the first

🖊️ Mayo Clinic for the second.

But first let me give mine: If you remember the same offense without the same/initial feeling, then forgiveness has taken place!

The first thing we need to know is that forgiveness is a process! Most of anything one needs to achieve must go through a process. We tend to believe that everything has to be instantaneous. If a whole salvation is a process theb forgiveness is too! That is why whenever one feels pressured to forgive and gives in to such pressure, one finds out later that it has been absent all this while! 

So what are the signs that you have forgiven:

First, you are more relaxed to talk about the incident. Secondly, you loose the urge to bring back the topic especially when prompted! 

Hey the only thing that is forgotten is the feeling now. Don't expect to forget the incidence and how it made you feel, you will be asking too much of yourself. We actually never forget! But what exactly are you not forgetting?

It is intentional meaning there is a reason to forgive. See! it will only work when you see the reason to! It is voluntary because until you do it willingly it will never happen!

You need to agree to go through such process and have the right reason for doing it if you wish to achieve it! Note the word right reason! What is right for you might not be same for the other! At this point it is totally from the subjective scale! So before knowing the skill, you'd actually need to see the need to forgive. The right reason.

I will be giving those reasons next and the truth about it is that until you accept these reasons and make them yours, they will never be the right ones for you!

5 Reasons you forgive:

1: To be free from slavery!

Are you shocked?

Even the bully knows that the best way to keep himself occupying your thoughts and activities is by consistently offending you! Do you know that the best way for anybody to buy a free ticket to your life is by not letting go?

You are usually the first in class, the easiest way to distract and overtake you is by finding what offends you and consistently using it on you! It is very simple and it has worked for many and hey until you get such skill you will always fall for it! 

You were sent to school; There is nothing that shifts one's focus in life and destiny like unforgiveness! One of the biggest tools for delay is same state of not letting go. 

While in school, you fall in love, get a heart break and immediately start making plans to do back. A totally different mission that until you achieve you won't get your peace. Hey the painful truth is that after getting back it is never even! You still don't get satisfaction! The pain will never be the same! It's like having to deal with a punishment another person brought on you! Right?

You are in a huge slavery and need to free yourself by yourself.

2: You love yourself

Until we understand that the only person affected at the moment is ourselves, we won't find the need to get this skill! Most times the offender is freely parodying the neighborhood, smoking his cigar, sipping the champagne, while you are with grudges and plans that most times might never work against them. You don't deserve to go through what another has caused you! 

That weight your poor body is loosing, that headache your poor head is having, that belly you are starving, is not there fault! I should love yourself enough to decide to apply this skill so as to stay "you"! No one on earth deserves to live in your head and determine how you live the rest of your live!

3: You are not perfect!

We need to accept that we offend others too! One should actually not impose what they are not willing to give. We actually deserve the exact thing we wish for our offenders. "The scenario is not the same" is not really an excuse! It might interest you to know that most of us are still alive because someone applied the forgiveness skill on you!

4: You actually don't have an enemy

Even the devil is not your enemy. That is why we are only at the defensive. I UNDERSTAND MAJORITY WILL NOT AGREE, I just hope you understand: We the children of God are actually his enemy. He is the one that swore to spite God by destroying his creation. So if that is the case, how can a fellow human be your enemy?

Let me ask you: Do you deserve to die by fire?🔥😅

The same God that asked us to follow peace with all men can not be behind our enemity mentality!

5: You don't have the GOD AUTHORITY

No body has the authority to pass judgement on the offender. You remember what we usually say: If man was God, we for no exist! If you had the authority to punish your offender, you too will use it without a second thought, right?

We would even terminate the person's life before hearing from the person! It is because of this nature in us that is not yet under subjection through this skill, that we will never get such authority. If we had, the human race will be wiped out🔥! 

So since, playing 'God' puts you into more trouble, Forgiveness becomes a must !

Hope we have been able to establish the fact that the person forgiving is doing so for themselves and not for the offender! You need your peace of mind and that is the only way to get it: Forgiveness.

Now I love being more realistic than idealistic. For most of us, what has been spoken so far is more on the ideal side! And you are still right!

You know how you feel, you know who you are and that is the first skill!

1- Know Yourself

Everything will always start with self! Your old self is actually the enemy if only you must have one. It is only with self that you can never be idealistic! You can not lie to yourself! It is not possible. Your self knows the truth even before you try to lie😅. How difficult will it be to even accept this skill? Are the type of questions to ask.

Hey! No body was there when it happened. Even if they were, only self knows how painful the incident was. The worse part is that most of these events happened in secret and are very difficult to discuss. Do you still recall how much you cry about it anytime it flashes-back? 

You don't need to reject or ignore it! You need to accept that you are in pains, and accept how difficult it is to forgive. It will be fine is very different from it is fine! It is not the time to express faith it is the time to handle the present! You need to accept the fact that you are not fine, that is the only way you can sort it out! 

You can not work on something that you have not accepted the existence. Learn to accept your feelings: it is normal to cry, to be angry, to be disappointed! Please don't allow societal pressure to force you to pretend even to own self! Find time to start the process!

I wish to insist that none of what I have stated or will still state is easy that's why it is a skill to learn. So please be easy on yourself! I am actually telling us what to do before forgiveness is needed! In other words: before you get offended you need to have started the process of mastering these forgiveness skills, that is actually the only time that it will work! Once the offense comes, it is only your previous training that will determine the success of the goal!

2- Learn to forgive yourself

You cannot give what you don't have! How many times have you tried to drink sniper because of the level of your fuck-up? You fall for a guy, he rapes you, you loose your virginity!

Hey! If you get to forgive yourself on this, then there is no human you won't be able to forgive! Study has shown that most of suicide cases are out guilt. Any suicidal person gradually graduates to a genocidal one through projection from self to the fellow human.

3- Expression

This is difficult with the phlegmatic temperament! You have to gradually leave the digesting stage to the expression stage. It is only by being expressive that even the offender is informed of their offense! It will surprise you to know that most of the cases are simply : misunderstanding!

They match your leg and the next thing they are almost a mile away without saying a word and before you know it they are laughing with the person next to you! You will be like wtf just happened?! Right? 🤣

If you don't train yourselves on the possibility for misunderstanding, we will pick a fight only to find the person even more shocked than you. The person just didn't know they offended you! So being able to talk to people will help you a lot trash issues out and the more you do so, your heart adjusts to offenses! Talk to the person! You will actually be the matured person! It's about your peace so it being you is actually non-negotiable! 

4- Guard your heart

   ... cos out of it flows the issues of life! Anything that affects your heart needs to be treated urgently! The only part of your body that could actually control your heart( feelings ,emotions, etc) is your mind and that is what we are sharpening now!

The time to talk to your self is now! Make those decisions now! Decide to forgive now! You might imagine how you are supposed to react to several situations. It plays in the mind and it is that decision that will flash the plan you made for such situation when the time to forgive comes! Try as much as possible to sort issues immediately as the come! 

I still have more but let me end with number 5:

The God Factor!

I am proud to stand on any platform to declare that my secret is the Holy Spirit. He is the "enabler". 

See hein you might know all this things and still lot be able to do it. You might have tried to do these things with your own power and have failed woefully! Then I recommend HIM!

He sets the stage and ground for any skill you need to process! Most of what I learnt he teaches and most of what I learnt He teaches how to practice!

Do you know that it is only Him that will teach you how best to apply any skill to your person? How it works for A might not work for you though with same tool! So give him "The chance of a lifetime"! Ask for HIM. I could take you through the process :

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I am happy to always be your host Alaukwu Adimchi Prince Daniel (P-Rex)🌹. Thank You PWC for this great opportunity! I appreciate and will always use each occasion I get judiciously to deliver!

God bless you all!

Stay tuned for the next episode! We love u! Enjoy Possibilities🎊!The Skill For Forgiveness pdf version.